So, Three Guerrillas Walk Into a Bar . . .

Here’s another post that’s moving away from politics and the state that Lebanon is in at the moment, but then again not really.

Letter from Beirut, from the Washington Post:

BEIRUT — With a bit of fortitude and loads of wit, there are laughs to be had, even in wartime.Barely a week into a war that sent the hopes of many Lebanese tumbling down with their bridges, buildings and roads, stunned civilians trapped in the crossfire started trading self-deprecating gags about their situation.

As sad as the tales of death and the exodus of 1 million people displaced from their homes into empty schools and government buildings have been, the Lebanese have found ways to make light of their own plight.

As one joke has it, residents fleeing the Shiite suburbs of Beirut were flashing the victory sign — to indicate that only two buildings were still left standing.

It was followed by excited speculation that real estate values in the poor neighborhood of Ain al-Rummaneh, a crowded cluster of aging buildings overlooking the southern suburbs, had shot up by 50 percent. Why? It now has a sea view.

People are petrified of honoring their dental appointments out of fear they may have bridgework done, goes another favorite. So contagious have these stories been that in one refugee center, Marwa Saad, 15, whose family was driven out by fierce fighting near the southern market town of Nabatiyeh, did not dare utter a word without covering her mouthful of braces.

“Everyone keeps teasing me; they bully me to keep my mouth shut so we don’t get hit by Israeli jets,” she said about her friends, giggling with her hand to her mouth.

Another story has Haifa Wehbe, the curvaceous bombshell of Lebanese music videos, dispatched by the Hezbollah leadership to Israel to conduct negotiations. She returns pregnant. When confronted about her condition, the anecdote goes, Wehbe insisted she was only trying to help: “I thought I would get you another small hostage.”

Picture of Haifa Wehbe by Roger Moukarzel
Some jokes target the Syrians for causing the crisis by allowing arms to flow to Hezbollah and pressuring the Lebanese government to let the group keep its arms. One joke says the Israelis cannot aim at the Syrian inhabitants of Homs. Why? Because the Israelis only have smart bombs.

Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah is also the butt of some humor. The elderly women of the Christian neighborhood of Ashrafiyeh regard Nasrallah as their new idol and sex symbol, goes one line, because he has taken them back 40 years.

Another joke extols Nasrallah, saying he is now worthy of a statue since he managed to put the entire Shiite Muslim community, with its high rate of illiteracy, in schools.

Read the rest of the jokes.

November, 1947

Moving away (but not that far) from the Lebanese-Israeli conflict for a moment, I came upon this great article regarding the creation of Israel.

The article by King Hussein’s grandfather King Abdullah, written in 1947, explains with great detail why Arabs rejected the idea of an Israeli state. Most relevant to today’s discussion regarding the issue, he clarifies that the rejection was not the result of anti-Jewish sentiment.
He goes on to refute the historical and political claims of the Zionist movement. He ends the article by correctly predicting what will happen in the Middle East if a peaceful solution is not found.

Alas, his words were not taken seriously. Consequently, here we are more than 50 years later, repeating the same arguments and killing each other.

Definitely worth reading.

For the sake of clarification, I am not claiming that the state of Israel should cease to exist today, only that the reasons that lead to its creation were morally wrong and unjust.

Tourism?

“Affluent Lebanese drive down the street to look at a destroyed neighborhood August 15, 2006 in southern Beirut, Lebanon. As the United Nations brokered cease fire between Israel and Hezballah enters its first day, thousands of Lebanese returned to their homes and villages.” (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

I’ve been reading about how savvy Lebanese people are and how Beirut will rise from its ashes once again. Resilient and creative, maybe Lebanon’s new strategy should be tours to the destroyed parts, at least until the city and the villages are built again.
The marketing strategy would target the adventurous tourist and those looking for something a bit different than the tired old destination hot-spots.